Ron DeSantis’s Many Monikers

From ‘DeSanctimonious’ to ‘Ronny Meatballs’ to ‘Ron the Con’ a catalogue of the most famous sobriquets, official and unofficial, assigned to the Florida Governor

Note: The distinction between official and unofficial depends on whether the nickname has been canonized (that is to say, endorsed, acknowledged, and/or used) by Donald Trump.

At last week’s CPAC conference, I happened to run into Dr. Sebastian Gorka amidst the hustle and bustle of Broadcast Row and the conversation fittingly turned to nicknames – specifically the topic of how Trump might next brand his would-be challenger, the man he calls DeSanctimonious. Dr. Gorka said, “I recently heard Ron the Con! What do you think?” To which I replied, “That sounds good. But even better is Neocon Ron because many people don’t realize he governed like a typical establishment Republican as a congressman” (to say nothing of having a registered foreign agent on the payroll). Dr. Gorka seemed to be especially fond of that one, which immediately had me thinking about cataloguing all the most famous nicknames so far levied against the Florida Governor. 

And thus bespeaks the inspiration behind this piece, an index of the most prominent sobriquets so far assigned to Ron DeSantis. I have included both official (that is to say, have received the official Trump stamp of approval, of which there are few) and unofficial nicknames, including, among the latter category, those which have been formally struck down by President Trump himself. For each name, I have provided a little context as to its origins and classified them based on their placement among the broader tapestry of potential DeSantis criticisms (of which there are many). 

I should hope that this little article proves to be equal parts whimsy and edifying, and potentially may operate as something of a guidebook – a source of inspiration, even – to none other than President Trump himself.

I.      Sanctimonious:

The dictionary definition of “sanctimonious” is “making a show of being morally superior to other people.” The first official nickname issued by Donald Trump against DeSantis was “DeSanctimonious” was a unveiled in a rally on November 5, 2022.  The name has stuck ever since, only growing in notoriety since that fateful rally, especially as more of DeSantis’s backstory comes to light – and greater scrutiny exposes his mostly vacant policy promises, such as taking on “Woke Disney” or shipping illegals to Martha’s Vineyard. Both of these in effect were publicity stunts, albeit high-profile ones, that made easy fodder for the Con Inc. gristmill, but which were mostly bluster, little substance. And so, accounts for the sense of self-righteousness which so readily attaches to DeSantis’s character, someone who pretends to be a populist when his Yale background and neocon instincts suggest anything but – exhibiting the absolute worst of political phoniness. DeSantis is someone who is to be avoided at all costs for being the consummate political hack. Holier-than-thou; self-righteous; nay, sanctimonious.

Ron DeSanctimonious (Official)

This pentasyllabic moniker is one of two canonical Trump-sanctioned nicknames against DeSantis, and is really the only true one to date, since the next one is a variant of this. “DeSanctimonious” was officially unveiled in a rally on November 5, 2022, and has become Trump’s go-to branding for the Florida Governor in Truth Social posts and in public appearances.

Ron DeSanctus (Official)

Sanctus, with Latin etymological roots, likely reflecting Trump’s classically trained Jesuit education at Fordham, provides a shorthand version (if somewhat divinely inspired) of the DeSanctimonious moniker above.

II.      Meatball:

This next category captures both DeSantis’s Italian heritage and rotund physiognomy. A man who has made no secret about his love for food, often pictured in restaurants far and wide across the Sunshine Shine, the “Meatball category” combines several different ingredients about DeSantis. Although none of these names have received Trump’s blessing – to the contrary: Trump went so far to strike down the moniker in a February 18^th Truth Social post, it is a name that has been the subject of many memes and discussion on both social media and even mainstream talk shows, and for that reason, gets the label for the second most famous category, this side of DeSanctimonious.

“Meatball” Ron (Unofficial by Trump decree)

Perhaps the blandest on the list, “Meatball Ron” is the only meatball variant so far expressly acknowledged by Donald Trump, though only to dismiss its being an official nickname of the Florida Governor.

Ronny Meatballs (Unofficial)

A favorite among the grassroots, “Ronny Meatballs” was first introduced into the political lexicon by Roger Stone in a February appearance on Mike Crispi’s show, Unafraid. “Ronny Meatballs,” unlike the other names on this list, captures the sensibilities of a midcentury mafioso, and in that sense is arguably less patronizing than endearing. Fortunately for Trump, DeSantis is too much of a stiff to even think to adopt the name as a silly, self-deprecatory badge of honor – which, if executed with finesse, might otherwise improve DeSantis’s image that has so far suffered from a patent lack of charisma and relatability.

Roger Stone appearing on Mike Crispi’s show Unafraid on LFA TV on February 24, 2023. Discussion of ‘Ronny Meatballs’ begins at the 48:35 mark.

Ron DeMeatball (Unofficial)

The last of the meatball variants – very similar to the first, though this one a bit more artfully tailored to his name.

III.      Miscellaneous:

Ron the Con (Unofficial)

The name floated to me by Dr. Gorka – “Ron the Con” is DeSanctimonious without the varnish; the proverbial “knock over the head” that exposes DeSantis for the conman he truly is: someone who prefers bread-and-circus ruses, like shipping off illegals to Martha’s Vineyard ruse, over meaningful reforms.

Neocon Ron (Unofficial)

A blistering indictment of DeSantis’s foreign policy proclivities – namely, ones that are beholden to the same corporate interests which formerly backed the Bushes, John McCain, and Mitt Romney. Even if it were not for these interest groups that have gone a long way to retrofit DeSantis – who, as congressman, governed as a run-of-the-mill Republican establishment-type – with the pretense of populism, it is unlikely that DeSantis’s convictions would lead him to MAGA on their own. From his personnel (e.g., Christina Pushaw, a registered foreign agent who celebrated Zelenskyy) to his corporate media backers (e.g., Paul Ryan, Karl Rove) to Florida’s Republican establishment (e.g., Jeb Bush) – DeSantis carries the blight of establishmentarianism wherever he goes, one now so deeply etched into his image that it becomes virtually inseparable from the man himself.

Ripoff Ron (Unofficial)

Originally coined by Laura Loomer, “Ripoff Ron” speaks to the fundamentally counterfeit nature of Ron DeSantis and his movement. He has always been “the dollar store rip-off” of Donald Trump. This fact was on display when he made a political ad for his first gubernatorial campaign in which he stooped to sycophantic lows by decking out his newborn baby in MAGA gear – in a pathetic attempt to hoodwink voters into thinking that he was Donald Trump 2.0, hand gestures and all. A few short years later, now preparing to confront Trump head-on, DeSantis has clearly lost love with his kingmaker. But he remains mired in the former’s identity, and that ad, damnable testimony of that fact, is but another reminder that Ronald will always be living in the shadows of the Donald.

Ron De-Establishment (Unofficial – though reported as being considered)

Making the connection between Ron DeSantis’s political affinities with the GOP establishment explicit.  Though this one is something of a tongue twister, and the double e’s make for a rather awkward construction.

Ron DisHonest (Unofficial – though reported as being considered)

Punchy and to the point: it goes directly to Ron’s dishonesty about myriad policies – from his unwillingness to take meaningful action on critical issues, ranging from immigration to abortion to gun rights. Even his famous catchphrase – “Where Woke Goes to Die” – does not hold up, as observed in the countless Drag Queen events, failure to defang Disney World of its tax-exempt status, and the otherwise toothless, media-dubbed “Don’t Say Gay” bill – all bear witness to.

Heavy D (Unofficial – though coined by Trump in a rally)

It has been reported that Ron was put on a diet to prepare for his presidential announcement – however, even if true, DeSanctimonious still cuts a pudgy figure: his listed height, between 5’9-5’10, likely adds at least 2-3 inches to his actual (heel-less) frame, which is probably closer to 5’7. DeSantis would thus fall within the shorter end of the presidential height spectrum – and it is for that reason that every single pound has an “outsized” impact on his frame. Trump, who towers over him at 6’3, attached the “Heavy” ascription to DeSantis at a rally, proclaiming “I always thought Ron was a little heavy…” To invoke yet another Trumpian phrase: so true!

Ron DeSoros🇺🇦Pro-PNTR🇨🇳 @FatPhonyWhiny

"It doesn't matter how much Adderall he binges or how many lap-band procedures he undergoes, Ron DeSantis will always be remembered as the Extra Heavy globalist politician that he is, just like Stacey Abrams and Chris Christie." -DJT

Tiny D (Unofficial – though reported as being considered)

The flipside of Heavy D, though this time attacking his manhood rather than his weight.

Little Ronnie (Unofficial)

Similar in meaning to Tiny D, though perhaps a bit more family-friendly, since it can be innocently construed to indict Ron’s height before getting to more risqué territory.

Shutdown Ron (Unofficial)

This one is in the vein of Ron DisHonest because it exposes a specific policy on which DeSantis attaches a great deal of pride and credibility – his covid record – which soon collapses under the heat of scrutiny, given that DeSantis implemented some of the toughest lockdowns in the first several months of covid, and only decided to gradually open up his state when the “data” told him it was okay to do so.  The latter again goes to a principal divide between DeSantis, a man who possesses few, if any, extraordinary natural born talents, and Trump – a man abounding in creative spirit — whose razor-sharp instincts, having been fine-tuned over a lifetime remain superior to anyone else in American politics today.

Ron DeSoros (Unofficial)

This nickname is one that probably surpasses even Ron De-Establishment in making the connection explicit between the Florida Governor and the Uniparty consensus. The name originated after George Soros, notorious financial backer of Leftist causes and lawmakers, declaimed in remarks last month before the Munich Security Conference a clear preference for DeSantis (whom he touted as “shrewd, ruthless and ambitious”) over Trump (“pitiful”) – the comments are revelatory because they give a good read of how Globalists on the whole perceive both candidates. While nobody is contending that Soros would prefer DeSantis over Biden, his being able to praise DeSantis while expressing nothing but contempt for Trump demonstrates who the real threat is to the system. That Soros could not even mouth Trump’s name without disgust shows that Trump without a doubt remains a far greater threat, someone who cannot be rehabilitated in the eyes of Global elites, and therefore the enemy par excellence of the ruling class Soros personifies.

Ron DeSatan (Unofficial)

If the battlelines for our political divisions are between Good and Evil – the people of God versus the satanic Globalists – and if DeSantis is the favorite of the ruling class, this nickname logically follows. In short, this one is perhaps succinctly described as “Ron DeSoros” without the varnish.

IV.      His Supporters:

DeSimps (Unofficial)

A “simp” is someone who is desperate to get another person’s attention, usually for romantic reasons. Ergo, a DeSimp is someone who is a Ron DeSantis sycophant: think Nordau, Reaboi, “Shill” Mitchell, and Pedro Gonzalez. The DeSimp moniker, so witheringly effective on social media, cuts right to the odious, cloying, and ersatz makeup of DeSantis’s “fanbase” – who, with just a bit of scrutiny, are readily exposed as being as inauthentic as their dear leader. It is for this reason why the label sticks so well, and why anyone who so dares profess allegiance to DeSanctimonious will have automatically entered the kingdom of DeSimpery.

It is also for this reason that DeSimps get so riled up whenever decorated with that moniker, and that fervent reaction will always arouse deep-seated emotions because it is so devastatingly honest a critique of everything they stand for: a movement that is a glass house, a Potemkin Village, that will blow over with the next heavy wind.

Paul Ingrassia is a two-time Claremont Fellow: he was the Jack Roth Charitable Foundation John Marshall Fellow for 2022 and a Publius Fellow in 2020. Mr. Ingrassia graduated from Cornell Law School in 2022. His Twitter handle is: @PaulIngrassia.